Can Porn Ruin Your (S)expectations??

For a mature audience…

In terms of porn, in the back of our minds, it fuels our expectations about sex which don’t always meet reality.

Porn comes in so many forms accessible to its audience. It literally fulfills any extravagant or dull fantasy – anything to entertain the people – and has the allure to attract and hold our attention. But at which point of the fantasy do we lose grip of reality? Think of Fifty Shades of Grey and how the movie glamorized BDSM practices. Do we honestly believe that sex is that exciting and pleasurable in real-life, or does pornography heighten the expectation?

According to the New Oxford American Dictionary, “pornography” is defined as “television programs, magazines, books, etc. that are regarded as emphasizing the sensuous or sensational aspects of a nonsexual subject and stimulating a compulsive interest in their audience”- that’s the dignified version. I define it as any form of fantasy fulfilled by sexual acts that you can watch or read.

Porn is for entertainment, but its primary purpose is to arouse. Think of the physical attributes of each individual – although they come in all shapes and sizes, the women are generally large breasts and big butts and the men are usually well-toned and very well endowed. Partners also known for enduring for a long period of time.

These expectations can resonate with us after watching porn for so long. Like the  axiom that sex is painful for first-timers and general expectations of sex always being worthwhile tend to have a lasting impression on those of us who believe everything that we read and watch. Of course, there is nothing wrong with having expectations, but sometimes having sex like the people in porn is a farfetched idea. Pornography does not share the whole truth, that’s why it is defined as “emphasized.”

Furthermore, did you know that watching pornography over and over again can cause desensitization? Those of us who constantly watch or read porn tend to lose their brain stimulation. After a while, the need for stimulation will increase in order to reach the same level of arousal that they once had. That means they have to work twice as hard just to reach their climax.

We must also recognize that there is a distinction between actors in porn and real people. The things we see in porn does not always happen in real life. Porn is an dramatization of real-life sex. There is no real level of intimacy. Real-life sex requires courtship. It is a shared experience involving touching, kissing, intimacy, and appreciation for one another.

When it comes to sex, there is definitely a distinction between expectations and reality. The most gratification porn can provide is penetration and arousal. People who base their sexual expectations off porn are misguided. Audiences cannot base their standards on what they see and read. At the end of the day, pornography can place a impossible standard for men and women and after a while, it can become desensitizing.

Reference: “Pornography”. Erin McKean – Oxford University Press – 2005

Photo courtesy of Freepik

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