As you all know, I am a Southern belle, and I can appreciate random acts of kindness from the men in my life. Whether it is a family member, friend, or significant other, I am comforted in knowing that the men that I surround myself with are not only kind, but very polite. Unfortunately, not all women experience chivalry so, let me break it down for you:
Chivalry developed during medieval times. It was a code of conduct followed by knights hat firmly stood on the belief that men should be generous, honorable, and courteous. It is an attribute of men that survived medieval times and trickled its way through the ages to different generations of men. Some practice chivalry and some do not. It is from my experience that Southern men generally practice chivalry, but for those of you who do not know the signs, here are some suggestions for you.
A man is chivalrous if:
- He holds the door for you. This is a classic! I think this is the #1 thing a man should do for you that proves that chivalry is not dead! Be it a car, restaurant, or grocery store door, if he does not hold the door for you, you should be left speechless. Holding the door is a demonstration of proper etiquette and very polite.
- He escorts you. If he walks you around without the expectation of sleeping with you at the end of the night, he’s a keeper! Sometimes it just feels nice to have someone watching out for you as you walk to your car or to the door of your house. Guys, you walking with her shows her that you’re able to protect and keep her safe! Women like men who can protect them (hint, hint!)
- He gives you his jacket when it’s cold. Like I said, women like to feel safe. So, ladies, if a guy drapes his jacket over your shoulders, keep him! Giving you his jacket means that he cares and that he pays attention to you. It also means that he likes you! Chivalry includes making women feel at ease, so lending a jacket is the perfect example that he wants you comfortable.
- He lets you go first. Letting the lady go first in any respect, will always be a chivalrous act. It is courteous and evidence that he is capable of thinking of someone other than himself. Sometimes, it’s not all about the things that he says, it’s about what he does and if he lets you go first, then you should feel important and valued.
- He pays the bill. For the purpose of this post, I believe that men should pay the bill. It gives them a sense of authority and leadership when they are able to prove that they can provide for the woman in the relationship. For the modern woman, pumping your gas would fall under this category. If he does not ever do these things, leave him alone.
- He compliments you. If a man is truly chivalrous, he will compliment you without pretense or reciprocity. He compliments you because he pays attention to you. He appreciates you. Anything other than the aforementioned is a ploy.
- He respects you. It is my opinion that chivalry has everything to do with respect. If a man is chivalrous towards a woman, then he recognizes her worth and will not say or do anything that will compromise her beliefs. He will not manipulate.
- He gives you his umbrella. Am I the only that thinks men walking in the rain without an umbrella is sexy?! I mean, there is something truly romantic when he hands over his umbrella to keep you dry and he gets wet. Maybe it’s just me, but it is still chivalrous and polite.
- He calls you when he says he will. Who doesn’t love a man that can keep his promises? Now, of course, we, as women, cannot expect our men to keep promises all the time, but it’s the little things that counts. If he calls when he says he will call, then it proves that he can commit and that he is reliable.
- He wants to meet your family and friends. If a man shows interest in your family and friends, that is an honorable thing. Gestures like this speak volumes in terms of a man’s intentions.
Even in these modern times, it is still good to know that chivalry is still alive. People tend to forget about it as we grow with the times, but I will forever appreciate a man who takes time out of his to open the door for me or pump my gas so I don’t have to get my hands dirty. Despite the growing changes with time, these suggestions are so timeless that even the most modern man can learn from them and the women will appreciate it.
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